Amish Paradise

متن آهنگ

1. As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
2. I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
3. But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
4. You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
5. At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
6. Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
7. And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
8. Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
9. I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
10. Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
11. But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
12. Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
13. We been spending most our lives
14. Livin' in an Amish paradise
15. I churned butter once or twice
16. Livin' in an Amish paradise
17. It's hard work and sacrifice
18. Livin' in an Amish paradise
19. We sell quilts at discount price
20. Livin' in an Amish paradise
21. A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
22. I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
23. I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
24. 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
25. But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
26. An Amish with a 'tude?
27. You know that's unheard of
28. I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
29. And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
30. If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
31. We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
32. But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
33. We're just technologically impaired
34. There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
35. Not a single luxury
36. Like Robinson Crusoe
37. It's as primitive as can be
38. We been spending most our lives
39. Livin' in an Amish paradise
40. We're just plain and simple guys
41. Livin' in an Amish paradise
42. There's no time for sin and vice
43. Livin' in an Amish paradise
44. We don't fight, we all play nice
45. Livin' in an Amish paradise
46. Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
47. Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
48. Think you're really righteous?
49. Think you're pure in heart?
50. Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
51. I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
52. On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
53. So don't be vain and don't be whiny
54. Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
55. We been spending most our lives
56. Livin' in an Amish paradise
57. We're all crazy Mennonites
58. Livin' in an Amish paradise
59. There's no cops or traffic lights
60. Livin' in an Amish paradise
61. But you'd probably think it bites
62. Livin' in an Amish paradise